Whining, Wine-ing & Winning

Chaos. Which is actually pretty easy for me because I don’t use it regularly. I just hate it. Everything is chaos now. Your house is messy? Chaos. Your kids are being assholes? Chaos. You forgot to thaw the chicken for dinner? Chaos. You drank your coffee cold, wore mismatched socks and were seven minutes late to dance class…Chaos mama.

No. You’re just a person who had a shitty morning. At some point, we decided every minor inconvenience needed a cute little name and I’d like to opt the fuck out. My house isn’t chaotic. It’s lived in. My toddler isn’t chaotic. She’s two and occasionally makes choices that make me question every decision that led me to motherhood. My kitchen isn’t chaotic. I bake a lot of bread and require every bowl I own to do it…and if I’m drinking wine while making dinner with laundry sitting unfolded on the couch? That’s not chaos. That’s Tuesday.

I realize I’m supposed to choose a word I actually use regularly, but I’ve never been good at following directions. Besides, I have plenty of other words. Most of them are fuck…and I’m keeping that one.