Whining, Wine-ing & Winning

What do you love about where you live?

I’ve started this post about 14 times, and I think I finally figured out why I can’t write it…I don’t love where I live. There, I said it, and most of you know it.

I’m supposed to be by the ocean. That was the plan. Instead, life did what life tends to do and changed the plan for us. I know why we’re here, knowing the reason doesn’t automatically make it feel like home. I don’t know anyone here, and making friends as an adult is fucking hard, especially when you’re a stay-at-home mom.

I LOVE being home with Bee. I wouldn’t trade this time with her for anything, but sometimes you need another adult. Someone to talk to who doesn’t need a snack, help going potty, or assistance finding something that is directly in front of them.

I don’t adapt to change well. I Never have. At some point, I realized that if I couldn’t change the things I had no control over, I could start changing the things I did. I could find something that was mine. I started writing more. Then, I started baking and I became emotionally invested in a jar of flour and water named Garth. I started teaching myself things, observing others, trying recipes, fucking them up, trying them again, and eventually making things I was actually proud of.

Then came Wake and Baking. This became more than just something to keep me busy. I started wondering if maybe I could turn the things I love doing into something that helps support my family, too.

I still want the ocean and I still miss the life I thought we were going to have…even though it never happened (if you can actually miss something you never had…it’s a strange feeling). I still don’t know if this place will ever really feel like my place, but I’m here changing what I can control instead of fighting with what I can’t. I’m raising my kid. I’m writing. I’m baking. I’m trying new shit. I’m putting myself out there. I’m building something of my own.

Making the best of where you live doesn’t mean convincing yourself you love it…it just means finding things you love while you’re there. So wine-d down with me and follow along on my journey to make the best of it.