Whining, Wine-ing & Winning

Well, we’ve reached the point in sourdough where I’m making decisions based on vibes. Mostly because I’m sure you guys are getting sick of hearing about it, and I’m sick of sharing it. I just want some delicious bread because I’m an overachiever and don’t want to do the easy thing and get some from the store or use the yeast sitting in my pantry.

Garth and Wayne eat at 3, and I’ve decided they’re both getting a little rye flour boost today. Why? Because I’m the adult and I said so.

Now before the sourdough police show up, or someone recommends I join another Facebook group, it’s just a teaspoon. I’m not running a flour doping ring. I just figured if Cassandra can grow an inch before noon and act like she’s the favorite of the family, maybe the boys need a little pep talk in powdered form. Aka some juice. Steroids makes me sound like a drug dealer.

Garth is almost two weeks old and has spent most of his life making me question my abilities as a sourdough parent and, let’s be real, as a person.

Wayne is doing fine. He’s basically the kid at family gatherings sitting quietly in the corner chugging Mountain Dew while everyone else argues.

Cassandra is upstairs on her bookshelf, eating two meals a day and growing like she’s trying to land “Most likely to succeed”.

Will the rye boost work? I don’t know. Am I making flour-based decisions with the confidence of a drunk aunt at Thanksgiving explaining why she should have been a professional sourdough blogger?You betchya.

At this point, I’m one bad feeding away from going Office Space on these fools or blowing them up with fireworks.

Either way, somebody’s getting cooked.