Whining, Wine-ing & Winning

Poor guy is about to have a full spa day and then turned into tacos, nachos, empanadas, and tamales. He had a great life and Bevis is probs jealous of his fulfillment.Meet Butthead. An 8.6-pound pork butt with a bright future and no clue what’s about to happen.

This morning, I assembled the lineup. No measuring cups. No recipes. Just a little of this, a little of that, and stopping when my grandma whispered, “That’s enough.

After crushing up a collection of New Mexico chile, ancho chile, garlic, onion, pepper, paprika, cumin, and several other seasonings I’ve accumulated over the years, it was time for Butthead’s full facial scrub.

I’m not talking about a light dusting. Butthead checked into the Pork & Wellness Resort and got the deluxe package.

First came the exfoliation treatment. Later, he’ll receive onions, garlic, green chiles, and bay leaves for a little aromatherapy before spending the day relaxing in a warm environment and contemplating his life choices.

Ladies and gentlemen, Butthead has officially checked into the Broncos Wellness Center.

His treatment package includes:

Full facial scrub
Pepper microdermabrasion
New Mexico chile exfoliation
Eight hours of low-and-slow relaxation
Halftime aromatherapy with onions, garlic, green chiles, and bay leaves

Current status…Peaceful. Unbothered. Moisturized. By this evening, Butthead will have fulfilled his destiny. Street tacos. Nachos. Empanadas. Breakfast burritos.By this early evening, Butthead should begin questioning his integrity. His journey has only just begun.