Whining, Wine-ing & Winning

We just drove all the way to Lawrence to shop at Kroger. Not Target. Not some fancy specialty store. A grocery store. I guess this is what middle age and marriage looks like on a Saturday. The bigger problem is my husband decided this was the perfect occasion to dress head to toe in K-State gear. Not just a shirt. Everything. Purple shirt. Purple hat. Purple everything. In Lawrence….KU country. Babe, do you have a death wish?

I spent the whole drive wondering if I needed to brush up on first aid or if I’d have to explain to the emergency room staff that, yes, this all started over college sports and a gallon of milk. The good news is nobody threw a punch. Mostly we just got a few looks. You know the ones. The “bless his heart” looks.

He kept strolling around like he owned the place, pushing the cart with the confidence of a man who has no idea he’s basically wearing a Yankees jersey in Boston. Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to act natural while wondering if I should start walking ten feet behind him and pretend we met in the produce section.

The most Midwest part of this whole thing is we drove an hour to buy groceries, and somehow college sports rivalries followed us down the cereal aisle. To top it off, I didn’t realize my GPS was set to avoid highways, so we enjoyed a beautiful northeast Kansas country drive only to pull up to a Dillons that was no longer a thing. Just a building.

We did, however, find a shinier Dillons down the street that opened in October. It was…beautiful. And me being a former Dillons merchandising manager felt like I was at a Disneyland store. The displays were beautiful, the merchandising was immaculate, and the store was perfectly faced.

Nothing says Saturday adventure quite like accidentally taking the scenic route to a dead grocery store, risking your husband’s life in Jayhawk country over a gallon of milk, and leaving completely obsessed with the most beautiful Dillons I’ve ever stepped foot in. Even more beautiful than my old store, and that one was gorgeous.

But the best part of the whole trip happened while we were standing in the checkout line. Karsyn pointed at a Red Bull display and proudly announced, “Red Bull gives you wiiiiiiings.”

EMAW, I guess. 😂💜🌾🏀