Whining, Wine-ing & Winning

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

Good morning crew!

This morning, I was sitting in my daughter’s playroom, drinking my coffee while she watched her Spanish lesson on YouTube. Out of nowhere, I got hit with a flashback…one of those moments that makes you realize you might still be carrying something you never fully unpacked.

About 10 years ago, I woke up on New Year’s Eve with a really weird pain in my left side. I ignored it. Figured it was just some random cramp and went about getting ready for work. As the day went on, the pain got worse…and worse. To the point where I could barely stand it. Instead of going into work, I made the decision to drive myself to the hospital.

They ran labs, did tests, and finally the doctor came in with a smile and said, “You’re pregnant.”

I immediately started crying. Not because I wasn’t happy…but because something didn’t feel right. That instinct you can’t explain, but you know it’s there. They did an ultrasound , and I heard words no one ever wants to hear, ectopic pregnancy.

I had to go into emergency surgery because there was no heartbeat. The baby was stuck in my fallopian tube, and after everything, the doctor told me that if I had gone to work that night, I likely would have passed out from the pain and had internal bleeding that could have turned fatal.

That part still sticks with me. This isn’t meant to be a sad story. It’s just real…It’s a reminder to listen to your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.

What I didn’t do—and what I wish I had—came after. I called into work on New Year’s Eve…last minute…as a restaurant manager. Not exactly ideal. I was told the only way I’d be paid for the time I missed was to use my vacation time, what little I had—and even dip into future time.

Bills don’t stop, so I did it. Something shifted for me after that. I had worked there for nearly five years, and in a moment where I really needed support, I felt like just another problem on a schedule. So I left.

What I didn’t do was speak up. I didn’t ask questions. I didn’t advocate for myself. I didn’t even really understand what my options were. I just…stayed quiet.

Later on, when I worked in Human Resources, I realized there were things I could have done. Conversations I could have had. Protections I didn’t even know existed, but by then, it was already behind me.

Maybe I stayed quiet because I didn’t fully process what happened. Maybe I felt some kind of guilt or shame I couldn’t explain. Maybe I just didn’t have the energy to fight anything else at the time.

I don’t know, but what I do know is —you live, and you learn…and sometimes you carry those lessons longer than you expect. I still think about that day. I still think about what I would do differently, but now…I listen to my body and I speak up a little louder, and I don’t ignore that gut feeling anymore.