Whining, Wine-ing & Winning

Sometimes during parenting, setting limits — and sticking to them — can be the most challenging part of the day. Some days as a stay-at-home mom make it much harder than others to sit here and argue with a 2-year-old about why pants are part of a daily routine, why that barrette in their hair isn’t just to look cute — it’s to keep the hair out of their cute little face — or why naptime is non-negotiable. Honestly, it would be easier to work outside the home and argue with real people, because most adults actually listen.

Today was another one of those “will I make it?” days. As stay-at-home parents, we have great days, good days, and then the days where we briefly consider lighting ourselves on fire… or at least wonder if the loner glass of wine at naptime is appropriate. (And it’s not drinking alone if the dogs are home.)

It all started during bathtime, when my child decided taking a bath with all her clothes on was apparently the new thing. After several minutes of screams, slapping my hands away, pushing me away, and crocodile tears, I finally turned to my trusty parenting assistant… Elmo.

“See… Elmo takes off his clothes to take a bath.”

Cue the Elmo bath video on my phone.

“Okay,” she says — still with crocodile tears running down her cheeks. Finally, we got that one under control.

Second fight: getting dressed and insisting on wearing the new raincoat Grandma got her. Usually that would be fine, but today the sun is finally out… although it’s too windy to actually go anywhere because we live in Kansas. Other days? Sure, because it will probably rain at some point anyway.

Third fight: lunch. This time it’s not that she doesn’t want to eat lunch. It’s more like, how much of my lunch can I secretly feed to the dogs before realizing I’m still hungry because I didn’t eat anything?

Somewhere between lunch and naptime, we also had a full emotional meltdown when I threw away a vase of dead flowers that had clearly lived their best life, which according to her, wasn’t their time yet.

Fourth fight: naptime. Some days it’s hit or miss, but usually my kid actually loves naptime. Today she’s screaming for Elmo — the same Elmo she rage-threw out of the bed five minutes earlier.

At this point I decide not to cave and give Elmo back, but suddenly she’s screaming like Julian in Big Daddy wanting to watch the Kangaroo Song. Shirts come off. Pants come off. More screaming. Whose child is this, and why does it feel like a completely different kid has taken over her body?

“Terrible twos” at this point feels like an understatement, and unfortunately I can’t take my mom’s advice on punishment because it’s not 1985 anymore and the rules are different. Sorry, Momma.

Which brings me to the reason I’m sitting here during this rare afternoon window while she finally sleeps: who’s really winning?

Is it her because she finally got Elmo back so she could drift off to sleep? Because she eventually got more to eat at lunch? Because she got to watch the Elmo bath song during “no screen time”?

Or is it me because I eventually won the battles, even though I had to bend a few rules and cave to a few tears?

Or… does she still win because I caved?

Momming is hard, especially during two-berty. So if you’re ever feeling alone, you’re not. I think we all go through these moments when all we want to do is give in a little so we can move on to the next part of the day with a tiny bit of sanity left.

So sit down, wine-d down with me, and share your stories below. Let’s help each other mom without judgment and lift one another up.