The Berniece Chronicles – Episode 4
Well, the weekend came and went, and Berniece and Brutus went back to the wonderful life of adulting. Monday came and went too. Pretty “Monday,” like all Mondays.
Then came Tuesday.
The day Berniece could give her husband that crooked smile and say, “I told you so.”
Now Berniece can’t predict the weather like Karen Smith when her boobs can tell when it’s raining, but she does have her hunches.
As hard as Brutus fought her on insisting they get that kayak she threw the tantrum for at Costco on Saturday, he was very glad he listened.
As he should have.
Tuesday evening, Berniece spent her time preparing a lovely meal for her family. A little of this, a little of that, a little of everything mixed into one dinner that everyone could enjoy.
And for once, it was actually a success.
Which, if you know Bee, doesn’t happen often.
Looking outside, clouds started rolling in again. Northeast Kansas was making that familiar face in the sky that makes everyone nervous.
For the third time in a week.
Wonderful.
Berniece started getting Bee ready for her bath when—
CLAP.
Thunder.
Well, so much for that plan.
A few more thunder claps followed, then suddenly the sun popped back out like nothing had happened.
Typical.
So the family settled into the living room to get comfortable and binge a family sitcom that honestly felt a lot like their own lives.
Eventually bedtime came.
Bee, however, was not interested in bedtime.
There were still princess castles to build with Legos.
Babies needed their pajamas.
Bluey had to be located.
And most importantly, Momma Cow needed to be reunited with all of her baby cows before anyone could even think about sleeping.
Naturally, all of them came to bed too.
Eventually everyone got tucked in and drifted off to sleep.
BOOM.
FLASH.
Cue Rumple.
Their crazy dog immediately turned into an emotionally unstable disaster. Panting. Whining. Jumping in and out of the bed like the entire sky had personally declared war on him.
As the first round of storms drifted away, the house finally started to settle down again.
Then suddenly it sounded like the sky was falling.
Rumple was absolutely convinced that it was.
More panic.
More whining.
More pacing.
Then—
Every phone in the house lit up.
Flash Flood Warning.
Berniece slowly rolled over and looked at Brutus.
Brutus didn’t even open his eyes.
“Don’t,” he said.
Berniece smiled.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t start with the kayak.”
Berniece sat up and glanced out the window. Rain was coming down harder now, water already beginning to collect along the curb.
“I’m just saying…” she began.
“You are absolutely not saying,” Brutus replied.
Somewhere down the hall, Bee rolled over in her bed, completely unaware that her parents were currently debating whether or not their Costco impulse purchase might become the family’s emergency evacuation plan.
Rumple continued pacing like the house was seconds away from floating down the street.
Barley, meanwhile, slept peacefully like the emotionally stable adult in the household.
And Berniece?
Berniece just sat there with that little crooked smile.
Because sometimes Costco trips get a little out of control.
Sometimes the weather alerts in Kansas feel a little excessive.
And sometimes…
the ridiculous purchase ends up looking like a pretty good idea.
You Bern, and you learn.
More from The Berniece Chronicles
📺 The Berniece Chronicles
⬅️ Previous Episode: Berniece Battles Northeast Kansasw
➡️ Next Episode: Coming soon…
Whining, Wine-ing & Winning 
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